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American Dream

by Sally Draper

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1.
LWKY 03:19
LIFE WILL KILL YOU I’m having an existential crisis, Thoughts of dying parents, dead friends Thinking about time like it’s New Year’s Eve at midnight, Sober minded clarity like New Year’s Day at sunrise Asking myself, what’s the point of being alive? If everything has to someday die Some say that death gives life meaning, I’m not so sure about that I’m not so sure about anything It’s not a crisis of faith, It’s a crisis of living It’s not denial or acceptance, It’s everlasting melancholy Life is a blessing, And the blessing is pain To live is to love, And to love is to lose Funeral scenes playing on repeat, Nightmarish morbid daydreams I walk around like a zombie, In my head, a constant Night of the Living Dead But not the fun cannibalistic kind, More like the morose can’t get out of bed type If grief comes in waves, I’m drowning I’m drowning and I’m choking on water It’s not a crisis of faith, It’s a crisis of living It’s not denial or acceptance, It’s everlasting melancholy Life is a blessing, And the blessing is pain To live is to love, And to love is to lose
2.
My mental state is suffering, Grief blurs my focus and vision Lost all of my ambition, Reflecting absence Now I can’t stop counting, Can’t stop obsessing Obsessing over time, Over time passing My mind keeps spinning in circles, Reflecting absence Now I dwell on future certainties, Dwell on guaranteed unknowns I dwell on my anxieties, Reflecting absence This self-inflicted suffering, Isn’t what anyone wanted This sorrow is so useless, The pity is pathetic It blinds the magic of moments, Rejecting absence It’s time to start living, It’s time to stop dwelling It’s time to stop forgetting, The privilege of living
3.
Yellow hair in the carpet, A subtle reminder of the happiest boy who ever did live We don’t need no reminding, No one could forget the happiest boy who ever did live I miss your breath, Rubbing your chest The happiest boy who ever did live It was Marley and me, Happy as can be Even though we always knew the ending A gentle giant afraid of the dark, The happiest boy who ever did live The kindest soul I’ll ever know, The happiest boy who ever did live The stars in the sky burn extra bright, The happiest boy has died It was Marley and me, Happy as can be Even though we always knew the ending It was Marley and me, It was Marley and me Marley and me, It was Marley and me Marley and me, It was Marley and me May his memory be a blessing
4.
The earth is on fire, We are slowly burning Choking on smoke, We are barely breathing Once in a lifetime events, Have become routine occurrences There’s a fire in the echo chamber Let it burn, let it fucking burn Our future has just one guarantee, Loss is the only certainty Once in a lifetime events, Have become routine occurrences There’s a fire in the echo chamber Let it burn, let it fucking burn They’re pro-life, They’re for the living They're pro-suffering, Slow suffering for the economy For the economy, They sold our autonomy for the economy The suffering is the point, The cruelty is the point The suffering is the point, The cruelty is the point
5.
She found her identity, in Instagram infographs, Acronyms and buzzwords, Define her friendships Yeah, it’s for a social cause, A cause to socialize She’s a social socialist, Capitalizing on social capital If you keep talking shit, Your mouth will be full of it He found his voice, In the algorithm’s feed He found his purpose, Sharing selfies Clever captions, Begging for reactions He’s a social socialist, Thoughts empty and meaningless If you keep talking shit, Your mouth will be full of it If you shit where you eat, You’ll be eating shit If you shit where you eat, You’ll be full of shit If you keep talking shit, Your mouth will be full of it
6.
Step outside, Clear your head Take a walk, Get perspective Touch some grass, Breathe it in Your insignificance, Is significant We’re not special, That’s just how it is We’re so small, Just grains of dirt Life’s a joke, So, laugh at it It’s a joke, So, crack the fuck up
7.
If Heaven isn’t real, Then how did you come to be? If God isn’t real, Then how did you come to me? If heaven is real, Then how did you leave? If God is real, Then how did you cease to be? How am I supposed to go on? Without your memory becoming a eulogy How am I supposed to grow old? Without watching you grow older I guess I’ll just go on, Even though it feels wrong I guess I’ll just live, Even if you’re gone
8.
Fragile Egos 02:37
When the dust settles, Your anger won’t matter no more When the ship comes in, It won’t matter what happened When the song is sung, There will only be one decision When the sun sets, Forgiveness won’t be a regret Egos talking when it should’ve been your heart, Egos talking when it should’ve been your heart As your last act, Nears its descent When you take your bow, Will you pause for applause? When the curtains have closed, And won’t come up again Will the performance have been worth it, When your story ends? Egos talking when it should’ve been your heart, Egos talking when it should’ve been your heart Fragile egos for our delicate minds, Fragile egos standing in our way Fragile egos for our delicate minds, Fragile egos standing in our way Let’s leave those fragile egos behind, Let’s leave those fragile egos in our wake Egos talking when it should’ve been your heart, Egos talking when it should’ve been your heart
9.
As I grow older and more honest, My dreams become much more modest What’s happening to me? What’s happening to my dreams? My ever-growing list of responsibilities, Preparing, saving for the inevitability The reality of responsible mortality Your imperfections are perfection to me, Our lives more American than a school shooting High-capacity magazines, On summer clearance sale annually We’ll sell our lies, We’ll sell our beliefs After all we’re living the American Dream, The American Dream is a shopping mall As nothing goes according to plan, We’ll crowd source our health insurance No retirement, We’ll watch the news as entertainment Twenty-four-hour coverage of tragedies, Our background noise Our conversation piece, We’ll be content with content Your imperfections are perfection to me, Our lives more American than a school shooting High-capacity magazines, On summer clearance sale annually We’ll sell our lies, We’ll sell our beliefs After all we’re living the American Dream, The American Dream is a shopping mall
10.
Like Shatner in space, I can see everything And I feel empty, I am floating And I am empty
11.
Racecar hospital beds, Rocketship MRI machines Bright colors and a pleasant nurse, In the land of disbelief When you were born, I came alive You were supposed to be with me, Until the day I died Bad news is always a phone call away, Bad news is always a matter of time All we have is today, So, breathe slow and don’t watch the clock When you were born, I came alive You gave me purpose, A reason to survive If love is worry, I’m eternally heartsick If the heart needs, The heart will bleed If the heart hurts, The heart works If the heart beats, The heart will bleed When you were born, I came alive Which each heartbeat, I thrived An old soul, With a child’s spine Your words have more faith, Than the historic divine This world may be unkind and cruel We’re closer to heaven by knowing you Because of you, I believe in infinity Because of you, Each breath has meaning In spite of everything, I know we'll be together again someday In spite of the pain, I know we’ll be together again someday I have to believe, In spite of everything I have to believe, In spite of the pain We keep going, We keep living In spite of the pain, In spite of everything

about

The first years of the 2020’s was a complete whirlwind of emotion. I began writing the songs that became American Dream in the wake of the devastation of watching several friends and family members of all different ages develop serious illnesses, get into freak accidents, and in most cases, succumbing to their misfortune. Forced to confront the fragility of life and the inevitability of mortality, writing these songs became the only refuge from my mind. This period of time thankfully wasn’t a constant pity party. Over the course of this album, I got married and learned that my wife and I were expecting our first child. Aside from reflecting on the banality of loss and tragedy, I hope this record serves as a reminder that we keep going, we keep living, in spite of the pain, in spite of everything. Also, if you shit where you eat, you’ll be eating shit.

credits

released February 2, 2024

Recorded throughout 2023 at the Fruit Cellar Headquarters in Edison, New Jersey

Sally Draper is
Ryan O’Leary
Bob Osowski

Mix and Engineered by Bob Osowski

Mastered by Nick Bolton at Bolton Sound

Ryan O’Leary - Guitar, Vocals
Bob Osowski - Guitar, Bass, Drums, Vocals

Brian Dipierro – Special Guest Guitar and Vocals on “Dipierro’s Hit”

John Warren – Xylophone on “The American Dream Is A Shopping Mall”

Shana Fitzpatrick and Will Kraemer – The American Dream Choir

Brian Dipierro, Will Kraemer, and John Petrick – Gang Vocals

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Sally Draper Edison, New Jersey

Punk Thin Lizzying since 2016.

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