1. |
The Air I Breathe
01:47
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I'm a broken boy stuck in a man's body,
I am my own disease
I'm not worth the air I breathe
I'm killing myself with the drugs I use to live with myself,
I'm not worth the air I breathe
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2. |
Spontaneity Preplanned
01:49
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So what if my spontaneity is always preplanned?
I'm not apologizing for who I am
So go ahead and hold it against me,
Your lack of sincerity is a fucking tragedy
I'd rather get lost trying to find myself,
Than spend my days pretending to be someone else
I'd rather be self aware,
Than be another asshole saying I don't care
So what if I'm thoughtful to a fault?
So what if I'm faultful in my thoughts?
You say that misery is a liberty,
But I can't control what I'm fucking feeling
And what I'm feeling is shit
So maybe by not letting go,
I held on too damn tight
Maybe my success was in excess,
And maybe you're the winner of this fight
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3. |
||||
New York City is a fucking headache,
The bright lights are too much for me
New York City was a fucking mistake,
I can't afford a fucking thing
New York City is a fucking headache,
I can't sleep with all this noise around me
New York City is a fucking heartache,
With all the girls who won't talk to me
This will be my last night in the city
New York City is a fucking headache,
New York City is a fucking headache
New York City was a fucking mistake,
New York City, it's time I leave
This will be my last night in the city
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4. |
Ruthy, Forget Your Pain
04:09
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Ruthy was born in New York City,
Sometime in the late nineteen-twenties
As a girl she was shy and pretty,
Now she's elderly and lives in New Jersey
It was in her early twenties,
When she first was married
Divorce wasn't on the table
So she put up with him, oh she put up with him
Until he drank himself to death,
In front of their two kids
In the hospital,
She promised them this wouldn't happen again
Ruthy, forget your pain
Some years later she was remarried,
Got carried away and had a couple babies
Half siblings brought on full resentment,
Of all these things they'd never understand
Like how to be a decent man,
How to be a sensitive person
When to listen, when to take a stand,
Oh, they'll never understand
Ruthy, forget your pain
Now it's a lifetime later,
Things are never getting better
You've been wasting away for years,
And it's time to pack it in
You lost your identity,
At the turn of the century
When you lost your independence,
You lost your will to live
Assisted living turns into hospice care,
Out of your head falls your teeth and your hair
Losing all of your weight, you're just skin and bones,
Waiting for a grave to call home
Antidepressants distract you from your pain,
Dementia has you forgetting names
If you have to forget everyone that you love,
Oh, I hope you forget your pain
Oh, I hope you forget your pain
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5. |
87
03:10
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All we have left,
Are the photographs,
Collaged on cardboard,
The temporary of your memory
Eighty-seven years of life,
Packed in tupperware boxes
Eighty-seven years of life,
Collecting dust in the garage
Is this all that we become?
Is this all that we're made of?
We buried you today,
By your first husband's grave
We buried you today,
We stood and we prayed
Is this all that we become?
Is this all that we're made of?
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6. |
A Walk In The Woods
01:49
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I wish I could go back to our walk in the woods,
I wish I was getting lost in the woods with you
I wish I was still wandering the woods with you
I wish I could go back to your apartment with you,
After taking a walk in the woods with you
Hanging with your cats named after literary icons
Making love with your Simon and Garfunkel records on,
Oh, I never felt so whole, no, I never felt so good
Can we go back to last September?
To all those nights I'll always remember
I may want to forget each and every regret,
But I'll never forget how it felt to be with you
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7. |
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It's hard to hear your prayers,
When you're screaming in my face
It's hard to withhold judgment,
Talking Judgment Day
Any god I demanding praise,
Ain't no goddamn god of mine
Any god I have to fear,
Ain't no god of mine
When you found god,
You lost yourself
You lost yourself,
When you found god
Belief's not the problem,
It's the people who take advantage of it
If there's a kingdom of heaven,
Why would it be so intolerant?
Scare me with your crosses and your holy water,
Scare me with your condescension, your lack of acceptance, you're always behind the times
You preach love but breed hatred,
And I hate it, I fucking hate it
When you found god,
You lost yourself
You lost yourself,
When you found god
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8. |
Too Young To Be Too Old
03:24
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Losing self respect,
Gaining self consciousness
Losing self esteem,
Feeling shittier than a night at Garvey's
For once all of my dreams are within reach,
Just close enough to watch them all slip away
When I'm feeling great,
I know it can't be good
It's my slow maturity,
Nothing's what it's cracked up to be
I'm too young to be too old for this,
And I'm too dumb to feel this significant
Just like that August when all my friends moved out of our hometown,
Twenty-seven, still living in my parents' house
It's hard not to feel pathetic, impossible to grow,
So I'll seek my validation from strangers on the internet
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9. |
Landing Strip
02:04
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You were my landing strip,
A safe place guiding me home
I'm so glad you let this domestic boy,
Land in your international space
You made coming home feel so fucking good,
We never had rough patches because of your well maintained landing strip
Without your landing strip,
I am lost
Without your landing strip,
I crash and burst into flames
Without your landing strip,
I have no place
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10. |
Can't Handle Happiness
03:39
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I'd sleep in your bed,
I'd get lost in your skin
You'd get stuck in my head,
You were my reason to live
I'd stay up for your calls,
I'd kiss your chapped lips
You were affectionate,
You knew that I exist
I can't handle happiness,
I can't see this moment for what it is
I can't handle happiness,
I can't maintain my relationships,
i can't handle happiness,
I can't get past my present tense
Now I sleep alone in my bed,
Now I've lost your skin
Now I'm stuck in my head,
I have no reason to live
Now we don't talk at all,
I don't kiss your chapped lips
Now you don't know me at all,
Now I don't exist
I can't move forward while looking back,
So maybe I'll try just staying right here
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Sally Draper Edison, New Jersey
Punk Thin Lizzying since 2016.
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